Well, you are not really laughy, Halina was explaining the other day.

Hm. I had to let that one sink in. I'm not?

No, she said, a little amused by my bemusement. She wasn't being critical; it was just one of those clearly observable facts, which I myself might have taken note of by now.

We went on to have a laughy exchange about it, and I was deemed slightly more laughy than Daddy, which helped (sorry to throw you under the bus, Daddy, but anything to make me feel better at that moment). I vowed to laugh more with her, but my commitment to that has been spotty. Maybe I'll put a reminder note up. Someone wise advised me two years ago to put up a note that said "My job is to be kind" and I never got around to it, or I wasn't willing to have that entirely sum up my job, or something.... And that's when it really WAS my job, too. Meaning, I was unemployed.

I went to a career coach recently who had a hand-out on transition and I can see that I'm in one. Sleep disruptions being a big sign. I have a new job that I start a week from Monday. PART TIME, I'm reminding myself. But still. I CAN QUIT, I'm reminding myself. Though I worry that is easier said than done.

It's a scary change and I'm feeling a lot of stress. I try to remember what is most important to me and hold that close. And be kind to myself, too.